Why You Have To Stop Listening To Everyone But Yourself
I have always been a hard head when it comes to the boxes people try to put me in. Since I can remember, I have seriously hated certain rules, especially those that seem “cookie cutter”. Then again there’s those times where I should have listened, but one thing I don’t regret about my personality is that I always get answers even if there is no answer. I have to have answers even if that answer is one that never gets closure. To me, this is still an answer. Some of you can probably relate to me. I am an “I’d rather know than to wonder what if” type of person. It bites me sometimes, but I can honestly say that I’ll learn the lesson myself. So far, the strength of not listening to others has made me happier in my career. I didn’t listen to all of the what if’s people presented. I did what the heck I wanted with my businesses and career.
When you are starting something new, things can be scary, they can be different and sometimes intimidating. All these feelings are normal. I know them all too well. Lately, I’ve been noticing a trend of conversations about business owners feeling disappointment about setbacks, lack of self-confidence, confusion, and wanting to quit. There has been the “you aren’t hustling hard enough”, “you have to put in more work”, “you don’t have to listen to everything from everyone”, or even “why influencers are leading us to fail” topics I have seen and read all over the internet.
There is so much information about what to do and what not to do with your business that it could alter your thoughts. Here’s 3 reasons why you have to stop listening to everyone but yourself:
You lose clarity and focus
Finding clarity is one of the greatest things that can happen to a business owner. Clarity helps with planning, organization, and systems in your business because you know exactly how you want things to go. You’ll also see a clearer path of how you will get there. When you begin to sign up for everyone’s webinar, email list, or free ecourse, you begin to want to replicate all of the things that you are taught or read about. You lose sight of the fact that you can’t try to get so many things done all at once, but there’s a great chance that you’ll be programmed to think that you’ll need to do everything RIGHT NOW! The cure to this is to lessen your consumption of information and the consumption what others are doing. You must unplug from those channels that distract you to keep your focus.
You begin to second guess your talents and skills
For some of us, we know that we’re good a what we do but we still research and find ways to drive our creative energy. We look at other blogs and work for inspiration, and we pay close attention to case studies from other people. This is completely fine until we begin to compare how far someone is in their journey versus where we are in our journey. The comparison game comes to our thoughts when we see timelines of how people made it to their position in 30 to 90 days, 6 months, or whatever the result range is. Most times it’s inspiring but when it’s too much, it’s a reminder of what we should be doing and what we’re not doing. Sometimes it completely takes us away from our reality. We are not on the same journey. The best thing here is to respect where you are and what you have then work that to full capacity!
You feel like an imposter
This is a big deal especially if you are entering new territory in business. Being new to an industry can be super exciting. It will bring a little nervousness though. It could make you feel as if you are some type of imposter or that you are lazy and don’t have it together. Although you know what you are talking about and exactly what to do, you feel as if you aren’t experienced enough in certain areas to tell others what they should be doing. Every business owner goes through different phases of self-doubt and confusion at some point and in some areas, but they don’t let it stop them. Listening to others can bring this feeling to you if you don’t feel very confident because you are entering new territory. Just remember that you are not alone and someone needs what you have to offer because you know more than them in your area of expertise. Also, don’t forget why you started your business. For that reason, you can’t stop now!
If you’ve felt any one of these things, I’ve been there and sometimes go back there as well. I am here to tell you that it is okay to feel these things!
Sometimes when we feel like this, we’ll get reminders or confirmation that what we are feeling is okay. I’ve recently experienced all of these feelings as well as the reminders that tell me I am entitled to feel what I feel. I’ll share my experience of confirmation with you. Lately, I have been wondering if a specific type of content and platform is for me. It’s something that I don’t feel comfortable participating in but I felt that it would help with visibility for my brand. The thing is that I am never excited about it, and I don’t want my audience to feel that energy so I simply stopped doing it.
While feeling guilty about feeling this way, I have recently watched a recorded webinar and watched a few scopes where the influencer on each platform repeatedly confirmed that it’s ok to shift when things don’t make you happy. Following that, I’ve received an email also stating that I should dismiss anyone’s rule on business if it makes me feel any kind of way that’s not good.
Now I get that all of these events are directions and suggestions about what I should do. But, I settled with listening to myself; dismissing my thoughts and feelings about feeling guilty for not doing what others are saying I need to be doing. I also dismissed a ton of direction and demands from so many other business owners in my industry that didn’t fit with the vision I had for my brand.
We have to let go of what other people are trying to define for us and make a way for ourselves. People can tell you what worked for them or what you should be doing, but you have to figure out what you like and don’t like yourself plus how different things will help grow your business. Of course there are some things that you will have to do to get out of your comfort zone and grow your business, but you have to decide what those things will be. You can give yourself permission to leave a platform if it is not working for you. You can change formats and delivery methods of your content so that you audience can receive it more effectively.
Remember that the ball is always in your court! Take people’s advice with a grain of salt. Test everything to see what works and what doesn’t work for you! Making changes doesn’t mean you are weak. If it doesn’t make you happy, let it go! Learn to try, test, rule in the things that work and rule out the things that don’t.
I hate that there’s this pressure that society puts on us about how we should live or that we aren’t living right because we don’t have this and that. To sum it all up:
Stop. Letting. People. Tell. You. How. To. Pass-Dribble-Shoot. The. Ball.
It’s always your court. You make the decisions of your future, so play with the rules that you make for yourself.